Last week was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s

This morning I am taking a breath and trying to comprehend what happened in my life this past week. In the last seven days I…

It just all happened so quickly! One day I was getting excited about a summer in the mountains with Greg, hanging out with college students and applying for more jobs, hoping to eventually land one in San Marcos for the fall.

The next day I was crying and debating as I tried to figure out if this awesome job I was just offered in San Marcos was worth missing my summer in the mountains. I felt in my gut that it was.

The next day I accepted that job and then proceeded to tell all the people and sort out all the details about me changing my summer plans.

The next day I cried and felt sad about losing Colorado, but also excited about my new job.

The next day I went to San Marcos for the weekend and started realizing, this is my new life. I just signed up for this for the foreseeable future. What??

The next day I continued to feel a little like that, but I also applied for an apartment.

The next day I helped 2.42 Church set up for their Sunday service and thought, this is my new church home. These are my future friends and “family.” I also reflected on the past two years in College Station and with my Fellowship Church family and cried (with joy, but also sadness) about that.

So basically I felt all the things.

I am excited to start a new job doing something I love.
I am proud of myself for having a job lined up before graduation.
I am grateful for all the support I’ve received from my friends, family, and mentors during grad school and this decision.
I am thankful to God for this opportunity.
I am sad about not being in Colorado this summer.
I am disappointed that it all didn’t work out perfectly for me to go to LT and have a job.
I am dismayed that Greg and I will be hundreds of miles away from each other this summer.
I am nervous about starting a new life in a new place.
I am worried about making new friends all over again.
I am afraid I will never get familiar with the layout of the roads in San Marcos.
I am pumped about a summer of working on personal projects like cooking, exercising, crafting, and nesting in my new apartment.
I am hopeful about joining a new community of believers in San Marcos.
I am happy that Greg and I will be able to be in the same place in the fall and onwards.
I am glum about leaving College Station and my “family” and friends here.

I have a lot of feels to sort through, it looks like. But in the end, I think the positive emotions outweigh the negative. Yes, I am grieving the loss of my summer plans and the loss of my life in College Station, but I know it is time to move forward to new adventures, and I know this summer will be best for me in the long run. But it’s still good to sit in those emotions and feel them out as I give them to the Lord. However, I do hope this coming week is a little less emotional, because I’ve got enough stuff in my emotional cup to work through for now!

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One thought on “Last week was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s

  1. Sometimes when I read Ecclesiastes 3 I think “BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL OF THE SEASONS HAPPEN AT ONCE, LIKE THERE’S A HURRICANE OF SEASONS.” And then I cry and watch 30 Rock and eat cheese.

    All that to say, I FEEL YOU.

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