Last week I fell in love.
In love with Austin, Texas.
I know as an Aggie, I’m not supposed to do that, but, well, I did.
I went to Austin last weekend with my homegroup, and even though I’ve been to Texas’ capitol on multiple occasions, something about this trip changed my heart for a city I’ve felt neutral toward my entire life.
I love the feel of the city. The people there. The fact that it’s a city but surrounded by Texas Hill Country. The fact that you can canoe past the skyline. The fact that there are locally supported businesses. The fact that everyone bikes (even though biking still scares me to death.) It just all hit me in a perfect storm of “LOVE ME AND MOVE HERE, LINDSAY.” It’s like a more urban Columbia, Missouri. Love.
You see, the things is I’ve been thinking about moving to Austin for a while. Two years ago, before I was even back in Texas, my friends Mark & Macie mentioned a potential church plant to the
t.u. UT campus, and it struck a chord with me. My graduate degree would qualify me to work at a college, and having someone “on the inside” could be a real asset. Plus I see my job as my mission field, and the church plant could combine those two so beautifully.
The problem is that this said church plant it set for 2-3 years after I get my master’s degree. So I’ve been mulling over this idea. This idea of sticking around College Station after graduation and staying at Fellowship and preparing to start a church on the University of Texas campus. And the mulling has grown into the dreaming and planning. And the dreaming and planning has grown into thinking critically and weighing pros and cons and actually starting to get really scared.
You see, I graduate in just over a year. In a year I start the job search. And I need to know where to look. Do I start a nation-wide search and ditch Austin all together, believing God has other plans for me? Or do I severely limit my job search to College Station and Blinn and trust that the Lord with provide a job?
Beyond just the job stuff, and as much as I have grown to love the idea of the Austin church plant, parts of it terrify me. The risk we’d be taking, I’d be taking. The areas of my heart that would need to be redeemed and changed. It’s a lot to trust God with. And I want to trust Him. But it’s scary.
And I can see myself there. I’ll probably have to get over my fear of bikes and get a tattoo and buy more hipster clothes and a canoe to fit in, but I can see it.
But even though I fell in love this weekend and can see myself there, it’s still terrifying, and that’s something I’m going to have to work out with the Lord over the next year. I’m excited to see what He says.