23!: I am worth it

I have to admit. I wasn’t necessarily excited about my 23rd birthday. I wasn’t upset about it or anything, but I felt somewhat indifferent. I’m pretty sure that sentiment came out in Wednesday’s blog post.

See, I struggle with believing the lie that people like me, love me maybe even, but not enough to go out of their way to show it. People will be friends with me if it’s convenient, but after that, I’m just not worth it.

I realize this isn’t true, even if people have burned me by doing this to me. I know God doesn’t seem me that way and most of my friends don’t either. Yet I still believe it sometimes. And I’ll be honest, I really thought no one would care that Wednesday was my 23rd birthday.

Even though my coworkers celebrate everyone’s birthday with a banner, card and baked good, I thought they might forget for me. Even though my roommates have made a big deal about all the other birthdays in our house, I thought they wouldn’t for me. I don’t know why I thought these things because obviously neither my coworkers or my completely awesome and loving roommates were going to blow off my birthday. It’s just a lie I let myself wallow in sometimes: I’m not worth it. I’m not worth the trouble.

Boy, did God pull a number on me this year. I felt so special and loved and worth it this year. So many awesome people blessed me in so many ways, some in ways they didn’t even know they blessed me. There were just so many awesome things about my birthday this year that I think I’m just going to have to list them off:

Just some of the awesome birthday extravaganza that went down on Wednesday

  • My sister woke me up with a phone call from Greece!
  • Roommates Kelsey R. and Jennifer got me Blue Baker for breakfast, including a breakfast sandwich, a muffin and a cinnamon roll. So far all I have been able to eat is the sandwich, and that lasted me two meals! So much food. Plus they got me milk. I love milk and haven’t had time to go get some since spring break ended.
  • Kelsey R. and Jennifer stickie noted my room with words of affirmation and funny sayings and pictures.
  • The weather was awesome. Thanks, Jesus!
  • My coworkers all greeted me at work with shouts of happy birthday, including out student worker and administrative assistant surprising me through the office intercom (funniest part!). I also had a banner and a card and delicious baked goods.
  • My friend John who is a missionary in Africa sent his monthly support prayer letter, which is always a favorite of mine to read. (He didn’t even know I would consider that a birthday gift!)
  • All my roommates and my friend Jana decorated my office while I was in class, so when I returned to work from Counseling Skills, I found streamers, candy, more stickie notes, confetti and blackberries on my desk haha!
  • I had so many birthday texts and wall posts.
  • I had an enjoyable evening of work with my students while my friend Barclay did me a favor and was a guest speaker for the photography organization I advise.
  • My friends Melissa and Drew called me, and although I didn’t get to talk to Melissa, I got to catch up with Drew for the first time in a few months.
  • I tweeted earlier this week that all I wanted for my birthday was for my room, which flooded on Monday, to be dry and back in one piece, new carpet and all. When I got back from work, it was all back to normal! And I didn’t even have to move my heavy dresser back; it was returned to its rightful place.
  • I got to eat dinner on my little side porch and watch the sun set and just sit with Jesus and thank Him for a really wonderful birthday.
  • My roommate Kelsey T. wrote me a super sweet note.
  • Two families who don’t have a lot of money to spare sent me support for Milan unexpectedly, even after I told them they should just pray for me!
  • Spent the evening with my homegroup getting ready for a carnival this weekend and just hanging out and laughing with them.
  • My hives weren’t as itchy today as they have been the past few days.

Overall, it was a really spectacular birthday. God really just spoke to my heart and told me, “You are worth it. You are worth enough to have your friends do nice things for you, but beyond that, you are worth me giving my son to die for you so we can be together.”

Dang. That’s the best birthday present of all.


2 thoughts on “23!: I am worth it

  1. So glad you had a wonderful birthday! Of course your friends would make it a big deal about it — you’re a great person! Silly Lindsay. 🙂

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