Mourning

“My life so far has been touched by You grace, but there’s still things that shake me up. I grow nearly faint when I see all the pain. There’s times when I wish I wasn’t so tender.”

Tuesday I once again realized how incredibly broken our world is. It’s been broken since the Fall, and I know that, but some days just make me realize it more than others.

It started with a viewing of Dreamworld 3, a documentary about the objectification of women in music videos, in my Women in the Media class. I had to watch an hour of scantily clad women shake their behinds in various rock, pop, hip hop and rap videos. It was basically porn. The documentary was a fairly harsh critique of the industry’s “white heterosexual male pornographic imagination,” which I agreed with 100%, but there was a line of narration that just really struck me and reminded me that even the people critiquing our brokenness still don’t quite get it. I don’t remember the line exactly, but it was something like, “Objectification of both males and females for our pleasure is a natural part of humanity, but this extreme has gone too far.” Humanity is certainly broken if it is in our innate being to objectify one another. I left the class feeling physically sick to my stomach.

The day ended with a really personal story from a friend about how he had been treated by his employers for admitting he struggled with something. He was doing all the rights things, taking steps to fight the temptation and asking for help, but it didn’t matter. The result broke my heart. That on top of the Dreamworld video had me tearing up here at 2:30 a.m.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s 2:30 a.m. and I have a paper due at 9 a.m. that isn’t done that has me on the verge of tears, but I think it’s more likely that it’s the depravity¬† and brokenness we’re born into here on earth.

I know we have hope and grace and a savior through Jesus Christ, but I also think it’s sometimes okay to mourn the brokenness of our temporary home at 2:30 in the morning. Especially when you’re an extremely empathetic person who can’t help but feel everything your friends feel.

“And it’s just ’round the corner when every knee will bow and freedom will come. And it’s just ’round the corner when You come in the clouds, and the pain will be no more.”

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