Ms. Lindsay Cochrum, M.S.

Today I officially passed my master’s degree comprehensive exam and qualified to graduate in 39 days with a master’s degree in student affairs administration in higher education. I’m trying to take it all in.

Honestly, passing my comps was sort of given. I don’t mean that in a flippant way; I just mean that our program prepares us well for our field, and solving and presenting a case study using all the skills and knowledge I learned in the past two years was more of a natural culmination than a grueling test. So it was a big deal, but it also wasn’t.

I guess it’s just strange for me to think that in a little more than a month, I’m done with College Station. I’m done with homework and reading and writing papers (for now.) It’s a little hard to grasp after being in school full-time for 19 years. (NINETEEN YEARS??)

It’s a little hard to grasp because two years here FLEW. I remember this time last year looking up to my second-year-friend Erica and thinking she was so grown up and accomplished and professional, and she is. But so am I! I am that second year that Erica was applying for jobs and going off into the real world. When did that happen?

So much as transpired over the past two years here. I’ve grown so much. I am constantly astounded by much growth occurs in such short spans on time. God works quickly! Two years ago preparing to graduate from Mizzou seems so long ago. I thought I was mature then, and I was, but I’ve grown even more since then.

I joined a new church and a new homegroup.
I made an entirely new set of friends.
I lived with roommates for the first time since I was a freshman.
I wrote 20-page papers like it was nothing.
I read and read and read for class.
I read for fun some, too.
I advised student groups.
I counseled students.
I went through heartbreak and conflict with friends that ended well by the grace of the Lord.
I got a cat.
I left the country.
I lived in Oregon.
I experienced the Lord in new and intimate ways.
My love for worship and my skills in that area blossomed.
I had my first date.
I had my first kiss.
I entered the stage of life where close friends start getting married.
I had bed bugs.
My first close relative passed away.
I shared the gospel with someone and then got to baptize them!
I somewhat conquered my fear of biking.
I was reunited with wildflower season in Texas.
I went to my first professional work conferences and met people in my field from across the country.
And so much more.

The next two years of my life are pretty hazy, but I am PRIMED for some BIG life transitions again. I’m not entirely sure where I will be and what I will be doing and with whom I’ll be doing things, but I know it’ll be good and that the Lord will continue to provide for me and grow me.

It all goes back to my blog title that I picked when I was just a wee-little 20-year old half-way through her junior year of college.

I am in progress. And I’m excited to see the progress that occurs in the next two years.

How’s it going?!

It’s been two months since I posted. Oy. This semester was supposed to be less busy than last semester! Alas, this prediction does not seem to be coming to fruition… thankfully, I think I would say that although this semester has been busy, my busy-ness hasn’t necessarily been difficult. Now, balancing everything has been challenging, but the tasks I need to accomplish are fairly straightforward.

Lately, when someone asks me how I have been doing, this has been my standard response: “Well, my life right now is pretty much school, work, homegroup, support raising, job searching, and Greg.” So I’ll fill you in on how it’s been going.

1. School
I am in my last semester of grad school, and BOY, do I have senioritis. I’m only taking three classes, but each day I have class I have to amp myself up to go. Not that the classes are bad, I’m just so ready to be done and graduate. Less than 90 days to go, people! Homework is definitely being pushed back until the last minute, but I’m trying not to be on total cruise control…

2. Work
Work is… work. Putting some structure to the peer mentor program we started last semester. Not too much going on here.

3. Homegroup
This semester I joined our small group’s leadership team, which means several extra meetings a week, but I don’t mind much at all. I love my fellow core team members Dustin & Megan, and I can’t complain about getting to meet with amazing women from our church for support and discipleship! Homegroup is interesting this semester; we’re on the cusp of losing about half our members to graduation, but I’ve been enjoying it and am excited to see the growth the Lord has in store for Shockwave.

4. Support Raising
Oy, this is probably one of the more time-consuming things on my plate. This summer I am interning as a staff member at Colorado Leadership Training, but in order to do so, I need to raise $8000 to cover administration costs, training, travel, my summer wages, and fees. Support raising is tricky because it’s never really done. I could work for 8 hours a day every day for a week on ministry team development (MTD), and I most likely still wouldn’t be done after that week. I have to be careful to use my time productively but not get sucked into MTD because I have other responsibilities that need taking care of on a day-to-day basis. So far the going is sort of slow. I’ve had four people give and about 30 tell me they want to… Hoping to see the balance in the account I’m responsible for go up soon! (If you’d like to hear more about the internship, check the “Colorado LT” tab above!)

5. Job Searching
Oh job searching… you are so tricky. I do not understand your timing. I need a job in mid-August. Are the jobs that are open now willing to wait for me until then? Who knows. I am trying to discern good ways to spend my time by applying to jobs I am really interested in but not applying for jobs out of sheer necessity yet. It’s been tricky to because I am trying to find a job in a limited area. Which, by the way, is the same area as a certain boy. I’m trying to move somewhere FOR A BOY. What is my life? This leads me to #6.

6. Greg
One of the more fun aspects of my life! Greg and I celebrated six months of dating last week, which is crazy to me. I can’t believe I’ve been hanging out with this guy for half of a year! Things are going quite well, if I do say so myself. We try to see one another ever other week, but this semester it’s been slightly more frequently… until we get to an upcoming break with what looks like five weeks in a row of mismatched weekend plans (psh, who needs women’s retreats, discipleship conferences, and mission trips? #longdistancechristiancoupleproblems), which will probably suck. But at least we have the summer in Colorado to look forward to! (Yes, Greg’s going to Colorado, too. No, that’s not why I decided to go. But you know I am definitely not upset about it either…)

I guess I have a #7, too.
7. Miscellaneous
Because I don’t want you to think I work/go to class all day, raise support all night, then only ever spent time with Greg. I have other friends! And roommates! And a cat! And regular TV shows I watch and musical instruments I play and books I read. Respectively:

• Friends: Biweekly coffee dates with my amazing friend Jen (whose wedding for whom I will have my first bridesmaid-ship in May) and whatever phone calls/friend dates I can squeeze into Fridays/Saturday mornings/Sunday afternoons
• Roommates: The lovely Megan, Catha, Kristina, & Christina (whose wedding I’ll be attending in less than a month!) who fill my house with goofiness and laughter
• Cat: Still adorable and mischievous as she’s ever been. Though I might be slowly teaching her to have separation anxiety because I have been out-of-town approximately 12 of the last 35 days…
• TV Shows: Bunheads, HIMYM, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Modern Family, Up All Night (which hasn’t been on?), The Office (don’t get me started on how much Andy sucks this season), Parks & Rec, and (RIP) 30 Rock.
• Musical instruments: Played guitar and sang for Sunday worship for the first time ever a few weeks ago! Guitar and viola on my own as well.
• Books: Read the first two C.S. Lewis Space Trilogy books and a young adult novel so far this semester. Plus a bunch of books over the winter break (Bossypants, Life of Pi, The Night Circus, The Tall Book)

So… that’s how it’s been going lately. I really do want to blog more regularly, but let’s be real: that hasn’t happened much since August. Dang you, 18th grade!

Adulthood already?!

Y’all. I think I’m growing up.

As I predicted back in September, this year has been different. I’m in the same apartment, taking classes with the same people, hanging out with my same small group. But something’s changed.

Last year I still very much felt like I was a college kid. Yes, I had one college degree, but I was still 22, living with four other girls (three of whom were still working on their bachelor’s degrees) in a mismatched apartment, hanging out in a college small group full of undergrads, staying up until 2 a.m. procrastinating school work, knowing I had two years of this college life to go before I had to face the real world. All my friends were on college schedule.  All my friends were single and loving (?) it.

I got a cat and MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER. Ok, not really, but c’mon. She’s totes adorbs.

This year I am still just a 23-year old with four roommates, but I did homework on Saturdays like a responsible person and actually was productive on weeknights (thanks, Mugwalls!). I still have my small group, but it has fewer undergrads (and VERY few underclassmen) in it now, and we’re all starting to learn what it’s like to get up early and work more  and go to bed at decent hours. I’m in bed before midnight if not before 11 most nights. I am responsible for another living creature’s life (Shout out to Scout/Scouty-poo/Scouty-pants/my baby… I am not a crazy cat lady despite what my Instagram account might show, I swear). Those four gals I lived with last year? Yeah, all in serious relationships now. Me too, for that matter. I’m thinking about the real world and what happens next. I don’t have another two years of school to hide under. I gotta face adulthood.

Me, my roomies from last year, and our significant others.

And while this is sort of scary, it’s kind of not at the same time. Although the transition has been noticeable and a little jarring at times (Guys. Greg (“the guy”) has a house. Like he owns it. Now he is an adult.), it feels fairly natural, like this is the next logical step in this thing called life.

You stop staying up into all hours of the night wasting time and start having a normal-ish sleep schedule. People pair off and get engaged/married. You actually start using Mint.com to budget yourself because suddenly you’re sort of making a decent amount of money (sort of). That collection of 60 college T-shirts? Yeah, they gather dust in you dresser because it’s business casual every day, and really no one needs 60 T-shirts for the weekends because you actually do laundry at regular intervals instead of saving up three months’ worth and taking it home at Thanksgiving break. (Actually, I can’t lie. I took home a suitcase of dirty laundry at Thanksgiving, but that was only because I am soooo busy with my adult life that I didn’t have time to wash them at school…)

Catching some high school football with Greg over Thanksgiving break.

And so it goes. I go to work and work on things mostly unsupervised because my supervisor wants me to feel like a professional. I decide I actually want to buy a solid pair of nude heels that cost more than $20 because I should be making sartorial investments like that now. I drive out-of-town on the weekends and visit my grownup boyfriend for the weekend. I come home and snuggle with my cat and watch TV. (Still not a crazy cat lady.) And I think I’m okay with it. I think, as much as I adored my “college years” and as much as I still adore college students (pretty much majoring in them), I’m ready for the next step.

Some college ladies I still ardently adore. They came to visit me on their Thanksgiving break!

I’m ready to be an adult, guys! I am! (But I wouldn’t mind my parents still covering my cell bill and car insurance…)

So adorable, amirite?!

We have to go back!

I have an announcement! God- (and Drage-) willing, I will be going back to Colorado LT this coming summer as a GCM staff intern! (If you don’t know what LT is, read about it here. But really you should know about it because I think I’ve mentioned it at least every third blog post since I decided to go the first time in the spring of 2010.)

Now I’m sure you have a lot of questions. I did, too, at first.

But wait, aren’t you graduating from your master’s program in May? Shouldn’t you be looking for a real job?
Ha! That’s the first question I asked myself after I felt the Lord telling me I should consider this internship back in July.

Um, God, you’re telling me I should intern at LT? That sounds like a horrible idea. What will people say when I tell them I’m not looking for a job after graduation, I’m just galavanting off to the mountains and ignoring the “real world” for an extra 12 weeks? And I have, like, loans to repay and stuff.
Yeah, good thing it’s a paid internship!
I’m supposed to graduate and get a real job because that’s what grownups do!
Can’t you job search while you’re in Colorado?
Uh, I guess so… yeah. But employers are going to ask me about this gap between grad school job searching.
Um, what gap? You’ll be working.
But does working at LT really count towards my professional career?
Lindsay. Yes. Duh. You’ll be working with college students and coordinating a summer leadership training program.
Oh yeah… It is pretty much all the things I LOVE about my area of study… discipleship, student groups, leadership, teaching & workshops, event planning… That actually would look pretty good on my resume… hmm…
See. I told you it’s gonna be awesome.
But God, what happens when LT ends and I don’t have a job?
Lindsay, how many times have a carefully and perfectly taken care of all your needs? Oh, that’s right, ALL THE TIMES.
Ok, God. I guess I’ll think about it.
Lindsay, you can say that, but we both know what you’re going to decide…
… shut up, God. (Sometimes I don’t want to admit he’s right even when I know in my heart he is…)

So yeah. I’ve been praying about it and talking to people I trust and respect about what spending this summer in Colorado might mean for me. Obviously all the church staff I’ve talked to are pro-me-going. But I was nervous about what my grad school program coordinator would say if I took the path less traveled and put off my job search a little. Turns out she was supportive of me doing what I felt like was right for me. Something about listening to my inner voice or something (insert Baxter Magolda in-joke for SA-people here). Then I talked to my current supervisor, which I think was possibly the most encouraging conversation ever. This obviously isn’t word for word what he said, but it captures the essence of the conversation.

“Lindsay, if you feel called to go, then you need to go. We all have voices insides our selves that tell us stuff that really might not make sense for other people, but it makes sense for us. You need to listen to that voice. Will your job search look different? Yes. Will you potentially miss out on jobs that will be open in the summer? Yes. But that doesn’t mean you won’t find a job. You’re just going to find a different job. Your process is just going to be different from your peers’, and that’s okay as long as you know that and are okay with it. You’re 23 years old. When are you going to have the opportunity to do this stuff for yourself again? You have 30+ years to build up your professional career. You don’t need to start your professional first job the day after graduation.”

Biggest weight off my shoulders.

So yeah. I’m applying to intern, y’all. I’m really excited for what this internship will do for me personally and professionally. Personally, I think a season of semi-rest and refreshment after this crazy year of grad school will be the best thing ever. I need to get out to the mountains and dedicate 12 weeks of my life to serving the Lord and not writing student development theory papers or studying higher education case-law. I need to breathe mountain air and stare at God’s creation for a few months. Professionally, like I mentioned earlier, this internship will give me more experience in a non-conventional-but-still-applicable-student-affairs-y-type job. It will also give me a better understanding of the inner workings of college ministry and what it’s like to work with other GCM staffers. So yeah. Getting pumped for sure.

So does this mean you’re going on staff?!
Ha, no.

Oh, ‘cuz you don’t want to support raise, right?
Well, that is technically true. I don’t really want to support raise my salary, but that is not the reason I’m not going on staff. I’m not going on staff because I don’t feel called to go on staff. I feel called to get a job at a university and volunteer my resources and outside time to campus ministry through GCM. I feel like the Lord has equipped me to serve in this way, and I am super pumped about it.

Oh, so do you have to raise support for this internship?
Yes, so… be on the lookout for a letter asking you for support through prayer or finances in early 2013! I’ll admit I don’t really look forward to support raising again, especially since I will have to raise more than I had to for Italy last year, but I know the Lord will provide. If he’s calling me to Colorado, he will make a way for me to go.

So what happens now?
My application to intern is due December 1, and then if I’m accepted to intern, I’ll go to GCM ministry team development training in January. Then in May, I will graduate, pack out my room at the Den (woah, too soon… too soon…), and head to the mountains. I don’t know for sure what happens after that. I’ll be doing some preliminary job searching in the spring just in case my dream job shows up, but I imagine I’ll be doing the bulk of the work of looking for a real job out in Colorado. As of today, I plan on looking primarily at GCM campuses (Texas A&M, Texas State, UNT, Mizzou, and Pitt), though I will also be looking at the Austin, San Antonio, and Dallas areas. If I leave Colorado without a job, chances are I’ll move back in with the ‘rents until God tells me where to go next. Not gonna lie, that freaks me out. I haven’t been unemployed since high school, but I trust that the Lord knows what he’s doing!

So yeah! I’ll definitely try to update the blog as more happens, but, um, you may have noticed that I have sucked at blogging this semester, so… no guarantees for regular updates… Regardless, be praying for me, please! Excited to share what the Lord does with me and this opportunity over the next 10 months.

Dangit, Grandma

There’s a reason I haven’t blogged much at all this semester. Well, a few reasons, really. Some being…

1. I work 30 hours a week.
2. I’m enrolled in 12 hours of class.
3. I have never had so much reading in my life.
4. This takes up most of my waking hours.
5. And oh yeah, my grandma was prophetic.

Just let that sink in a little and let your mind ponder what I could possibly mean by “my grandma was prophetic.”

Ok. On to the story.

My life this semester is pretty much an endless and relentless  and monotonous cycle of work, class, homework, repeat. Add a dash of catching up with friends here, a sprinkle of homegroup and church activities there, and then, oh yeah… a Guy*. That’s where Grandma’s prophecy comes in.

Now, I am hesitant to write about the Guy, not because our dating is a secret or anything, but because I respect the Guy and don’t necessarily want to blab the details of our relationship all over the internet for everyone to read. But this story was too good not to share, so I hope you don’t mind me sharing it, Guy!

You see, my dear grandmother passed away in April after a long, fulfilling life of raising 10 children, 30+ grandchildren, and last time I counted, though this number might be off, 17 great-grandchildren. She was an amazing lady. So her passing was sad, but not unexpected, and honestly a little relieving. Grandma’s hanging out with Jesus now, and I’m pretty sure she’s laughing to herself because she’s watching me live out her prophecy.

Ok, I’m getting to the prophecy part now, I promise!

The last time I saw my grandma in person, though I spoke with her over the phone before she passed, she told me, and I swear this is word for word her last words to me in person:

“Don’t let any boy mess up your education.”

At this time I found this pretty funny and highly implausible.

“Grandma, I’ve made it 23 years without any boy messing with my education, not to mention 23 years without a guy even letting me know he’s interested in me. I do not think this will be a problem. And even on the off-chance that some guy does come along and wants to take me out, I certainly will not let him mess up my education because I am a strong, independent woman, and I will earn my master’s degree by May and be self-sufficient, so help me!”

Less than four months later, enter the Guy. The highly unexpected and surprising guy. The long distance guy.

Y’all. Dating and getting to know someone really well is time-consuming. Like, a really fun and exciting time-consuming, but time-consuming nonetheless. And then you add a two-hour drive to that time-consuming, and it really starts to add up. Between weekend visits and Skype dates and phone calls, your free time starts to diminish (in a really great way, Guy!)… that free time you were supposed to do your massive amounts of homework and reading for your 12 hours of class.

Oops.

So yeah. I’m pretty behind on my reading right now. And if I’m not careful, Grandma might start haunting Guy to make sure he isn’t “messing up my education.”

But in all reality, he isn’t. My work gets done. I might skim some chapters and skip some not-as-important articles, but it’s getting done, and I’m going to graduate.

And dangit, I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty fun having a Guy around to “mess up my education.”

So Grandma, I hope you and Jesus are having yourselves a laugh up there in heaven because I did not see this coming, and I kind of feel like Sarah when the angels told her she was going to have a baby. You got me!

*Note: His name is not actually “Guy.” Just trying to keep some internet mystique going!

RIP Bike

Bike was a well-loved and respected member of Lindsay and Katie’s Two Woman Bike Gang.

Bike has passed away.

Sometime between Saturday, July 21 at 7 p.m. and Sunday, July 22 at 9:45 a.m., Bike’s wheels and seat were taken from him by force from the University Apartment’s bike rack. His frame was laid to rest outside the Willamette Bike Shop on Monday, July 23 at 9 a.m.

Warning: this post contains graphic images from a bike attack.

Bike was a faithful and loving bike. He was gentle and patient with his temporary owner, Lindsay, as she relearned to ride this summer and gained confidence in her new hobby. After nearly three weeks of trying to find the right bike at the start of the summer, in the end, Lindsay and Bike had barely more than four weeks together. But it was a beautiful month of many adventures. Bike and Lindsay often went on outings together with Lindsay’s friend Katie and her bike. They traveled across central Salem to various coffee shops, bible studies, Redbox deliveries, and breakfast dates. Bike and Lindsay even took a trip to Safeway and back, together managing the load of a week’s worth of groceries. Lindsay and Bike had made plans to go to church together for the first time this past weekend before Bike was brutally attacked and stripped of his vital organs.

Lindsay and Bike had planned to be separated in two weeks, but they had made many plans to make the most of the last days together. Lindsay and Bike’s last outing was a beautiful afternoon ride around the Willamette campus and to Salem’s McDonald’s for an afternoon treat. Bike impacted Lindsay’s summer in a way she will never forget. Without Bike, Lindsay would not have conquered her fear of all bikes. Lindsay plans to one day own a bike in honor of Bike.

Donations for Lindsay’s new bike fund will be accepted in lieu of flowers. Please feel free to comment and leave your favorite memories of Bike.

Willamette Wednesday: The countdown begins

First off, let me give you an update and start by saying that SUMMER HAS ARRIVED IN OREGON. Thank God. Literally. If I had gotten off that plane after spending the weekend in Texas and it had been cold and cloudy still… You could have called me Jack Shephard. (You bet I’m jumping on the gif train.)

“WE HAVE TO GO BACK.”

That being said, here’s what’s been up in my neck(s) (Oregon & Texas!) of the wood the past week.

Less than a month to go!
It’s bittersweet to know I only have 18 days of work left as of today.  While I have immensely enjoyed Willamette and the Student Involvement team, in many ways I’m ready to get back to A&M. I’m ready to transition into yet another new position (two if you count my practicum hours in Student Government this fall), unpack my room of black trash bags, and catch up with my friends. I am NOT, however, ready to get back into grad school pace. This lazy summer of almost no responsibilities has been amazing, and one glance of what my life was like last spring according to my Google calendar makes me want to cry. Prayers for a different type of year than Grad School Year 1 would be much appreciated!

The nightmare that was last semester. (Times are off my two hours since my Google calendar is now set in Pacific time.)

But until Grad School Year 2 starts, I still have a lot of work to do here in Oregon! Yesterday I conducted my first focus group, and I still have two other large projects, and a student-run program to advise over the next 3.5 weeks. I know it will go quickly with all I have to do!

I’ve been “busy” (but not really)
The past few weeks have felt a little busier than normal for a few reasons, so I haven’t had as much “free time.”
1. It’s been awful weather, so I hadn’t spent as much time lounging in parks reading in my hammock of lazily exploring downtown Salem. 2. I’ve started to try to exercise more regularly and have started to attend a Bible study and community group regularly, which takes away from that unstructured free time I was relishing in during my first few weeks here. 3. I went home to Texas for my cousin’s wedding! This meant I spent several days prepping, whether that be from designing her wedding program, buying an appropriate dress, doing laundry, packing, or traveling.

The programs I designed for my cousin’s wedding.

Even though it’s been “busy,” it’s still been good. Going back to Texas was wonderful, even though it was exhausting. I intend to write an entire blog post about that experience, but I’ll give you a preview: Nonna was around her 100-person family for four days straight. Also she ate a lot of barbeque.

My brother and sister at the wedding.

Now that’s I’m back in Salem, I’m hoping these final weeks consist of a second round of many Skype/phone dates, more reading in my hammock now that’s it’s warmed up, more bike rides now that I’m more confident (I rode to Safeway and back Monday with a bunch of groceries, including a gallon of milk and a 6-pack of local apricot ale! That was a balancing act… And then last I rode to that coffee shop I mentioned last week! Mission accomplished!), and some final Oregonian adventures before the other interns leave. I think we’re aiming for a trip to Portland and some berry-picking this weekend.

Other notable but random tidbits
Two weeks ago I got sick of Felicity‘s inability to pick a guy to like AND the fact that the show only ever talks about relationships, and decided to take a break after finishing the second season. (This is why Voyager was great! Adventure and cool story-lines UNRELATED TO DATING. With a sprinkling of romance to keep it interesting occasionally.) I have since turned to Firefly, which took me a few episodes to get into, but I’m fairly enjoying for now. I might start Friday Night Lights next, though, so I can fit in with my SAAHE classmates who all watch it.

I’ve been getting into a lot of new music lately! My new interests include: Bon Iver, The Civil Wars, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes, Ellie Goulding, Fleet Foxes, Florence + The Machine, Gatlin Elms, Gavin DeGraw, Imagine Dragons, Jenny & Tyler, Katie Herzig, Mumford & Sons, NEEDTOBREATHE, The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, Vampire Weekend, and Walk the Moon. Any others I should start listening to

If you want to send me mail, I would not be opposed! My friend Cherise and I have been exchanging letters all summer, and it’s been super fun! You can address your notes to:

Lindsay Cochrum
Office of Student Activities
900 State St.
Salem, OR 97301

I left my Kindle on the plane ride to Texas. BUT NEVER FEAR! It was returned to me thanks to Southwest Airlines. I’ve been meaning to write a post on how much I love my Kindle (I was such a skeptic before I got mine…), and this separation might be just the impetus I require to finally record my love on paper the internet.

In case you ever wanted to live your late-90s/early 2000s Christian childhood and listen to PlusOne (the Christian N*SYNC) or Point of Grace, you can do that on Spotify. You know, in case anyone was wondering.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now! Hopefully I’ll have so more fun posts later this week and next!

Why I care about the SEC

Truman the Tiger and Reveille chilling at the “Welcome to the SEC” weekend for Mizzou and A&M.

As some of you may know, this Sunday marked Texas A&M and Mizzou’s entrance into the NCAA Southeastern Conference. This is big deal in many ways, from more prestige for both schools, to a more equitable sharing of varsity sports profits, to all sorts of sports/higher education-related politics I don’t even fully understand. But that’s not really why I care about this move.

If you know me, you might know I’m not the biggest sports fan in the world. Yes, I enjoy a good Mavs game, will take you up on a night at the Rangers Stadium (though I would never take time out to watch a baseball game on TV; blech), and will deck myself out in black & gold or maroon & white every Saturday all fall. But in general, I’m not a sports fanatic. I’ll go to sporting events or watch them as a social activity with friends, but I don’t really have a stake in who wins. I don’t follow any professional teams*, and I only really care if the Aggies or Tigers win. Don’t ask me anything about other teams; chances are I don’t know. And honestly, at this point, I’m doing good even to remember the main football players for A&M and Mizzou. I’ve lost all sense of who plays on their basketball teams. National Championship? If it’s not Tigers or Aggies, it’s really not of interest to me. Super Bowl? I’m there for the food, the commercials, the halftime show, and to watch the Brynsvold Twins watch the game. (They’re the real entertainment.) I don’t even care about the BCS vs. a playoff system. Unless A&M/Mizzou gets screwed. Don’t mess with my two teams. Top 25 ranking? No Tigers, no Aggies? I’m not checking it.

So then you might be wondering why Saturday at midnight my Twitter feed exploded with SEC insanity. Well, it’s because this means more to me than sports. This is two of my favorite places in the entire world united together. I love it.

My tweets from June 30/July 1, 2012.

Mizzou and A&M are my homes. I met my best friends there. I grew up there. They are the last 5 years of my life, and those have been some formative years, let me tell you. So the fact that they’re both here together, newbies in the SEC, warms my heart.

It’s like Colorado LT. Colorado has brought so many different groups of my friends and mixed them all up. My sister and a friend from high school met my Mizzou friends. My Mizzou friends made Aggie friends, and then I met them in Texas. And now my Aggie friends are back in Colorado meeting more Mizzou friends. ALL MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING, AND IT’S AWESOME.

Allie, who I discipled at Mizzou, and Kristina, who I will be living with at A&M in the fall, sharing a milkshake. WORLDS COLLIDE.

My sister and a bunch of my Mizzou friends hiking Eagle Cliff last summer.

So the SEC just seems to be a continuation. My favorite places on earth continuing to exist together and collide. Plus it doesn’t hurt that I don’t have to keep up with two conferences to watch my two favorite teams. And it guarantees a yearly “WHAT COLOR DO I WEAR MY TEAMS ARE PLAYING EACH OTHER AND I’M TORN” moment. And an excuse for my Mizzou friends to come watch a game in Texas or me to follow the Aggies up to Missouri.

My maroon Mizzou T-shirt so I can support both my teams.

So I guess it does kind of have to do with sports. Whatever.

*This is not to say I’m a bandwagonner. If I have to pledge allegiance to sports teams, I’ve picked them: Dallas Mavericks for basketball (leftover from the days when I did actually follow them. I miss Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzski’s bromance.), Texas Rangers for baseball, Dallas Stars for hockey? (I’ve never watched hockey in my life), Team USA for the Olympics (duh), and Italy for other international sports-related endeavors. Because, you know, it’s the only country outside the US I’ve been to. That’s legit, right?

Willamette Wednesday: Actually it’s Tuesday

I’m mixing it up this week, y’all. Tomorrow I will be somewhere between Salem, Oregon, and Arlington, Texas, all day (Way to spend the 4th right? Woo traveling!), plus it’s the 4th of July, so I thought I would post my weekly update on Tuesday instead!

4 weeks down, 5 to go
Things in Oregon are still going well, but I’d be lying if I didn’t mention my mid-summer hump I’ve hit. As you might have read yesterday, I’m a wee bit homesick College-Station-sick(?). I miss my friends, I miss my roommates, I miss my bed with sheets that stay on the mattress (mine here fall off every night, though I don’t miss my bed bug infested mattress). I miss playing music with other people. I also miss the sunshine. And having a car. (Lucyyyy, I miss youuuuu.)

Don’t get my wrong; Oregon is wonderful. I wouldn’t exchange this experience for anything, and it’s taught me so much. Plus where else am I going to experience a Tandem Bike Rally. (I feel like that’s something that would happen in Stars Hollow…) I’m just gettin’ real with y’all and telling you I’m not this 100% fearless, independent woman. I miss Texas sometimes, too. That being said, it will be nice to visit Arlington for a few days later this week for my cousin’s wedding! I won’t see any A&Mers, but I will get a healthy dose of my Frazier fam, which is always great.

Work
Work has been more of the same, though I did go to an nearly-all-day assessment “workshop” on Thursday and got this rockin’ nametag which pretty much sums up what I’ve been doing job-wise all summer.

Too bad they misspelled Willamette… (As they say here, it’s Willamette, dammit!)

Free Time
This weekend was full of Oregonian activities including a Saturday winery tour and wine tasting at the Willamette Valley Vineyard and a Sunday afternoon at Salem’s local multicultural festival, World Beat. World Beat made me miss Italy and all the international friends we made there. It also made me wish I had made a bigger effort to get to know the international students when I worked at the Y and that I had time to work with Fellowship’s English Conversation Clubs back at A&M. Maybe God’s placing international students on my heart, and I should look for an internship in the International Student Services office. Who knows…

Wine tasting at Willamette Valley Vineyards

ALSO I’ve been taking advantage of my bike! And I haven’t died. I’ll be honest; I haven’t ridden in the streets much. I know it’s polite and all, but it technically isn’t illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalks in most of Salem, so I tend to stay out of the way of cars and take the sidewalk when I can. Plus I get off and walk it if there are a lot of pedestrians. I rode 10 blocks to breakfast on Friday morning and have ridden to two coffee shops, too! My next goal is to ride to the really cool coffee shop that’s further than I’ve been before… it’s like 15 blocks away. I have high aspirations y’all.

Jesus Talk
Spiritually, this summer has been interesting. While it’s been an incredible time of rest and rejuvenation, I’ve still been longing for spiritual more intimacy, and to some extent, growth and challenge. (Am I weird for not being content to just have a summer of spiritual rest? Maybe I’m weird… of maybe it’s holy discontentment…) Some of my quiet times have been dry and discouraging, and although I know the Lord is here with me, he doesn’t feel as close. I can’t hear him as clearly. Or maybe I’m just not listening well. It’s probably that. Well, regardless, I’ve started a reading plan through the YouVersion app on my phone in conjunction with #SheReadsTruth, which has already delivered some nuggets of awesomeness. I also caved and bought Jesus Calling after hearing so many good things about it, and it definitely delivered some blows of truth from day one! It’s been good for me to get into the Word a little bit and chew on some truths before I even get out of bed in the morning.

(Side notes:
1. It is scary how easy it is to buy books on my Kindle. I hardly even thought about buying Jesus Calling before I had clicked “okay,” purchased it for $7.50, and had it wirelessly delivered to my device in a coffee shop. I mean, that’s not that much, but it’s just way too easy to spend money on that thing! I gotta be careful about that haha.

2. I just found out you can get a Jesus Calling app for $10. I have actually just been reading my Kindle edition on my phone’s Kindle app… but the actual Jesus Calling app looks like it has so cool features, so maybe it’s worth the extra $2.50.)

Anyway, I think that’s all that’s been up over the last week. Next week I will have been to Texas and back with news of my cousin’s wedding! Stay tuned for more adventures of Lindsay.

I’m no Merida

I have been told by many people this summer that I am incredibly brave. People are amazed that I would just pick up and move to Oregon without knowing anyone. They’re astounded I just picked up and moved to Missouri for college without knowing anyone. They think I’m this confident, independent woman who just makes friends at the drop of a hat and isn’t afraid of being alone. In some respects, part of that is true. I like to think I’m somewhat confident and independent (though I think that sentence just negated the “confident” part). I do make friends fairly easily, and I enjoy my alone time.

But y’all, if I’m being real, what you don’t know is that I’m homesick right now. I’m sitting here missing Columbia. I haven’t truly been homesick for Columbia in ages! I’m missing Colorado, and LT was two years ago. I’m missing College Station and Texas A&M. I’m missing my beautiful roommates and their daily friendship. I’m missing my homegroup and our crazy antics and shenanigans. I’m missing the dudes at the Dudeplex. I’m missing the people I play worship with on some Sunday mornings. I’m missing people able to play music with others in general. I’m missing people who would get excited and care that Mizzou and A&M are now both members of the SEC. There, I just word vomited all my homesickness out.

And I hate admitting this. I want to be brave. I want people to think I’m independent and confident. But that’s just my stupid pride. And that actually isn’t so good. So here I am telling you. When it comes down to it, I’m just not that brave.

(I am, however, a fiery redhead with a Scottish background, so in that sense, yes, I am like Merida. The blog post title is mostly a play on the movie’s title.)

Going to Mizzou wasn’t that big of a deal because it was college. Everyone picks up and starts a new life in college. You’re encouraged to break away from your high school friends and meet new people. Even though I knew no one going to Mizzou, I also knew lots of people would know no one at Mizzou. And we could know no one together. Plus there were all sorts of instruments in place to help me meet people at Mizzou: my Summer Welcome group, my residence hall, my FIG. That doesn’t count.

As for Oregon, yes, I moved here not knowing anyone, but I also knew it would only be for nine weeks. You can do anything for nine weeks. I also did a lot of research to ensure I wouldn’t be totally alone here. I friended the two ACUHO-I interns on Facebook before I even got to Oregon after I asked my boss if there would be other interns here. I researched churches before I left so I could start meeting people right away. People saw that as be just being a planner, but it was also me not wanting to be alone.

And even though I’ve met some great people here and really never run out of things to do, I miss my friends. I miss my home(s). I miss CoMO. I miss Colorado. I miss CStat. (I even miss Arlington a little, but actually not all that much. Sorry Mom & Dad and Blair and grandparents! I’m not used to seeing you that much… that’s the only reason why! I promise it’ll make sense by the end of this post.)

Ever since I moved to Mizzou, I have never truly been without friends. I had my Mizzou friends at Mizzou. I stayed in Columbia with friends for two summers. I went to Colorado for a summer, but I went with Mizzou friends, and in fact, it was nearly all my close Mizzou friends that went! I moved to College Station, but I also already had friends there. I went to Italy for two weeks, but that was only for two weeks, and I at least was starting to become friends with most of my teammates.

This summer, this Oregon summer, is the first time I have truly moved somewhere without knowing anyone or having a group of other newbies to cling to. This is the longest I’ve been apart from my CStat friends. (This is not even close to how long I’ve gone without seeing my family, hence not missing them as much. This is somewhat normal for how we function these days.)

This is quite possibly what post-grad-school life is like. And that terrifies me. People say I’m brave and can just move somewhere without knowing anyone, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I don’t want to do that when I graduate.

Searching for a job is like a big scary black unknown for me right now. Thank God it isn’t happening for 10 months. If I had my way, next fall I’d working in College Station, Austin, Memphis, San Marcos, the DFW, Mizzou or Pitt. Where I know people. Or where there are GCM churches. Where I would not be alone. I see these SAAHE second years recent grads who are off starting their lives in totally new places. They are the braves ones.

I dread starting over. I don’t want to have to share my life story with a new set of strangers. I don’t want to have to re-explain who people are when I tell stories from my past. And I realize this will happen even if I stay in CStat or move to another GCM campus church or back to Mizzou or whatever. I’m going to meet new people, and I actually enjoy making new friends. But only if I have some constants. Even moving to CStat was hard in that aspect because even though I had a few close friends there, I still had a support system to rebuild. I remember thinking to myself, “Crap. I have to find my new Amanda Craven (one of my closer female friends, peer discipler, and confidant).”

Anyway, now I’m just letting my fears out all over the page, which is silly because I know God is going to take care of me wherever I go. I will be okay if I stay in College Station. I will be okay if I end up moving to Montana or somewhere equally as random and far away. In fact, I will be better than okay. I will be great because the Lord’s plan for my life is more than my tiny, homesick mind can fathom. And if this post makes me sound miserable, don’t worry, I’m really not. I’m just excited that in five weeks I’ll be back in Texas. I’m going to enjoy my last five weeks here, but I’m also glad it’s only five weeks.

I just wanted to dispel this myth everyone keeps believing. I’m not that brave! I am only able to do this, to have this experience, because I trusted God with my summer. I know I’m supposed to be here, and it’s been really, really good for me. It’s been restful. It’s been professionally helpful. And it’s been revealing, socially and professionally, about what I want in the future. Just think. If I hadn’t come here this summer, this whole new experience might have been at my first job, which hopefully will last more than nine weeks. At least now I won’t be surprised by my homesickness in the future. I’m coming to terms with it. I don’t have to hide it out of my pride. I’m learning to accept my inherent need for true community, unconditional support, and deep friendship. And that’s worth nine weeks of missing.